Sunday, January 4, 2009

off days

It is a strange thing but every Christmas brings the same observation: the celebration doesn't seem as celebratory as it used to or should. The day feels so empty and I can't put my finger on why. I have thought that growing older has a bit to do with it since my enthusiasm over santa claus and getting great toys has faded over the years. I also wonder if in becoming a Christian my priorities have shifted from "racking up" on gifts to a greater wonder and appreciation of my Savior. But here is where I am confused--should I not feel greater magic and joy on this holiday than I even had before? We wake up, eat, open presents, clean up, eat a big meal with some family and then the day seems so so empty. I miss the routine of other days on Christmas, and yet it probably wouldn't feel like Christmas if I had such routine. I sometimes feel this very same thing on Sundays (today, the day I write this post). It is so good to have a day of rest but today I feel bored and restless--wishing I could be working. Today I am also a little bummed because David goes back to work. I would have loved a little more time at our house with him to be productive together. The holidays have passed and I wonder if it was meaningful enough. I am thankful that I have had a healthy holiday, unlike the last couple of years but it does bring back these questions. How do you make Christmas more meaningful and more full? Am I asking too much of a single a day--too much magic?

2 comments:

  1. you just wait till your little boy is here and the magic of holidays will return ten fold!

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  2. Having kids does help! This year has been really fun, but I totally relate to the disappointment. I think of the Jews who were expecting a great and mighty king to sweep in and, well, be kingly, but instead got a poor baby in a cattle shed.

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