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7 years ago
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
a reoccuring dream
About 2 or 3 times a week (maybe more) I've had dreams where I am back in school. More times than not it is in high school. I find myself feeling confused about my schedule (very similar to the feeling you have when you first start a new schedule and you aren't sure where you are supposed to be or what time). I am always lost and trying to find my class. The school hallways are confusing and long, with many widely spaced out. Also, what is worse is that I realize that I had been missing these classes for awhile because I didn't know I had the class. It is usually a math or science class (mostly math). I find out that I've missed tests and am completely and utterly lost when it comes to the material covered. I'm failing the class. I'm generally good at interpreting my own dreams to see that I'm feeling anxious or vulnerable. However, I am unsure of what I'm even feeling. I guess it is a fear of failure--like I'm about to be tested in motherhood and even as a demonstrator for Uppercase Living. I'm disoriented in the dream as if I have been dropped off in a foreign country. Not sure if that is reflective of anything I'm experiencing now. I suppose pregnancy is very new but so far it has been so good. Feel free to analyze.
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When I was pregnant I went through a time of terrible dreams. I talked to my doctor about it, and she said that it's actually not unusual for pregnant women to have really strange, repetitive dreams. She actually offered that if they got too bad or frequent to let her know and she would give me something to help me sleep.
ReplyDeleteAll that not to freak you out, but to hopefully normalize things, and to encourage you that if it gets to strange, to talk to your doctor. After I talked to mine, the dreams started to get better and much less frequent, probably just getting it in the open helped a lot.
I'm glad that your pregnancy is going so well! I so wish that I could have seen you, but the time just wasn't there. :(
I love you!
You're right about the relation of the dream to your upcoming motherhood. You're anxious you will be a failure as a mom and you feel totally unprepared because you haven't "studied" for the test. (I think you dreamed of Math because you have always felt less confident in that subject, as opposed to your strengths in Reading and Writing-remember 7th grade math at WPJH?) Rest assured, you will not "fail" at being a mother. I know you, and you will do nothing less than work really hard at it, and that's all any of us can do. Plus, there's no way to "study" for motherhood anyway. You feel "completley and utterly lost" because you're entering unchartered territory, as we all have as mothers and fathers, but you'll just have to learn as you go like the rest of us. I'm sure you're going to be great! Not perfect, but progressing! I
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