Wednesday, February 25, 2009

you've all asked

here are some pictures of my

room makeovers

Here is the before, during and after of our nursery. I am so excited about our new carpet. The room is brighter and more cheerful. I wish I had taken pictures of our guest room before. It was pea/vomit green. We (David) painted and changed the carpet in there and it is super bright! Hurray for natural light!




Sunday, February 22, 2009

a moment of sadness

This weekend we were in Newellton because Sara, David's sister, was in town. We had a good and laid-back weekend with her, Esther, Jim, James, George (family friend), and Mrs. Hogue. A couple of times that day the topic of ailing spouses and parents came up. There were a few friends of the family, who I did not know, that were caring for a parent or spouse with altzeimer's. Just talking about their predicament made David and me both sad. Then, we had the pleasure to meet Esther's in-laws who were in town from Brazil. They were utterly delightful. They were visiting on their way to be with Mr. Davis's mother who is also dealing with altzeimer's. I couldn't get out of my head how awful it has to be to watch your parent slowly (or quickly) lose their memories, functions, parts of their personality. Today, on our way to Jackson, we stopped at Mr. Hogue's grave site. David was feeling sad and cried a bit. I felt so sad for him and then I just felt sad. I asked David if it got any better since last April and he said it was a lot better. I kept thinking about how I didn't feel strong enough to watch my parents or anyone I love get sick and pass away. Just thinking about it I would feel weepy and sad. I asked David if he was ever afraid of his parents dying and he said that he didn't think about it that much because it was sad when he did but he wouldn't describe it as fear. I have always feared these things as long as I can remember. I would feel so upset when my parents were ever in the hospital for anything or sick. Does anyone else have these kinds of thoughts or feelings? Maybe it is just a fact of life for an only child.

I don't want anyone to worry as they read this. I am not in a pit of despair. In fact, the feelings of sadness have passed but I just wanted to report it so I could get some feedback.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

take advantage

My open house for Uppercase Living is ending on Thursday. Some of you could not make it but it is still ok for you to order. Just click on the link to the right which will take you to my website that has an online catalog. Look through and let me know what you want and I'll put in that order for you with all the others. This will save you shipping and handling. For those who came, you may want to peruse the online catalog because it has more options and categories that the in-hand catalog doesn't. Remember that if you think the prices are steep, they are great discounts with hosting an open house of your own. It is a great way to start your decorating while sharing these cool things with your friends while have some good fellowship.

I had a great time with all you guys that came. Thanks for making it out there!

where to begin

I gave back some graded tests today in one of my classes. One of my students was visibly upset. At the end of class, she remained with her head down. When she lifted her head it was obvious that she was tearful and had been crying. I sat down to talk with her and explore what had her so down. It turns out that she is overwhelmed with all of the demands and concerns she has--there were many. On top of that she was unhappy with the amount of time and energy (or lack thereof) that she was able to put into her classes (including mine). This story, though unique to her, is so familiar to me. I heard this almost daily when I was working in mental health. Men and mostly women who were handling several kids as a single parent, ailing relatives, poverty, difficult working situations, with what appears to be no hope for lightening in this person's life. All seems to work against them. On top of that, because of all the stresses, that person is usually dealing with anxiety or depression or both. My level of helpfulness is so limited and I feel it. I can't go to their house and reorganize their family system. I can't give her a new job. I can't give her healthy relatives. And to some extent, I cannot make her take advantage of better coping skills. This person is barely staying afloat and all I feel capable of is describing the water. This helpless feeling followed me a lot in my last job. It is part of what has kept me away from continuing to practice. Those problems seemed too big or too many for me. I have commited this student to prayer and have chosen to believe that there is hope in her situation. However, I recognize that I don't see it. I want the Lord to show me what He does in her life and how He uses these kinds of prayers. Does He strengthen them? Does He take away some of her burdens? I have to believe that He does because I am His handicapped helper--what could I do, afterall? Parts of me feel so hopeless for the those who are in chronic distress. Life seems too hard for them. However, if anything, the Lord has taught me the merit of hope and that it is always there for those who choose to believe His Word. I am choosing and I am waiting.