Wednesday, April 23, 2008

grieving

We received news yesterday that David's father died in a car accident. Mr. John Walter Hogue Jr. was 77 years old. There is an autopsy being performed to determine whether he may have had a heart attack and lost control of the car. The shock of the news was reeling. Since the news, I've witnessed my sweet husband crumble on the floor, weep, and groan. My heart is broken for him and his family. It looks like death is never something we can completely prepare for. Mr. Hogue was a hardy and strong 77 year old. If he passed away, we assumed it would be a slow decline. This sudden and unexpected death always leaves unanswered questions. I've listened as David expressed regrets--regrets of lost opportunities with his dad. I don't think we can watch someone leave this life without feeling wronged. We can't say good-bye, we can't make absolutely certain that they know we love him, respect, him and admire him. I remember feeling as though I had unfinished business with my cousin Tony when our family lost him to cancer last fall. I had to give it over to the Lord who timed these deaths long before the world was created. I also have to believe that in Heaven, in the presence of sweet Jesus, all is made right or will be when we join them one fine day.

Your prayers are appreciated as the family makes plans for the funeral and the logistics of getting such a huge family a place to stay (11 siblings, 34 grandkids, 3 aunts/uncles). Pray for Mrs. Hogue who is getting used to life without her husband of almost 48 years. Thank ya'll so much for the love, support, phone calls, offers of help, and prayers that we've received. It has been heartwarming and touching.

11 comments:

  1. Guitta,

    Mr Hogue had way more than 11 sons and daughters, he's touched the lives of hundreds of us in profound ways that have left us all feeling much like david.

    I know he is where he'd want to be, and am happy for him, but very,very sad for the rest of us.

    Ya'll are all in our prayers.

    -andy

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  2. We are crying with you all...we love you; we are praying.

    Roy and Emily

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  3. roy said almost exactly what i was going to say. but it's true.

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  4. I am praying too. Let me know if I can do anything (check your mail... anything).

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  5. Aunt Guitta,
    I'm so glad you wrote this. I'm so sad but I'm sill shocked. I won't believe it till I go to the funeral.

    Love you, Madeline

    P.S.
    I'll pray for you
    and Uncle David

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  6. Oh no. I'm so sorry. This is terrible news. How sudden and sad it is. He seemed like such a happy and healthy man.

    Please let me know if there's anything I can do.

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  7. Guitta and David,

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I only spoke to Mr. Hogue briefly on a couple of occasions. He had such a friendly, peaceful demeanor that was calming. And he spoke with the wisdom of a lifetime of experience. I regret that I won't be getting to know him better, but I look forward to hearing more about him from you, David.

    My thoughts are with you in this difficult time...

    Charlie Kordahi

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  8. Dear Guitta and David,

    We love you and are praying for you and all the family from our side of the world.

    It feels wrong when someone dies because it is wrong, I mean, that's not what we were going to do necessarily before sin entered the world, with sin came death. Sorry for the theological treatise, but I guess I just want to say that it's ok to hate death. I hope that doesn't sound heretical. I know that David's father is in heaven and thrilled to be worshipping his God, but it really hurts and is awful for his loved ones still here.

    I wish that I could give you a hug!

    Love,
    Cristy (for Thomas and Isaiah, too)

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  9. We are aching and praying for and with you, as much as that is possible. Totally shocked.

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  10. Oh no. My heart sank when I read this, I am so so so sorry. I remember Mr. Hogue very well from your rehearsal dinner, what a warm and gentle man. I am so sorry and so sad for all of you.
    Praying,
    Erin

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  11. Thank you, Guitta, for writing this entry. I love you and David very much. So did (and does now all the more) Dad. James

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