Tuesday, February 10, 2009

where to begin

I gave back some graded tests today in one of my classes. One of my students was visibly upset. At the end of class, she remained with her head down. When she lifted her head it was obvious that she was tearful and had been crying. I sat down to talk with her and explore what had her so down. It turns out that she is overwhelmed with all of the demands and concerns she has--there were many. On top of that she was unhappy with the amount of time and energy (or lack thereof) that she was able to put into her classes (including mine). This story, though unique to her, is so familiar to me. I heard this almost daily when I was working in mental health. Men and mostly women who were handling several kids as a single parent, ailing relatives, poverty, difficult working situations, with what appears to be no hope for lightening in this person's life. All seems to work against them. On top of that, because of all the stresses, that person is usually dealing with anxiety or depression or both. My level of helpfulness is so limited and I feel it. I can't go to their house and reorganize their family system. I can't give her a new job. I can't give her healthy relatives. And to some extent, I cannot make her take advantage of better coping skills. This person is barely staying afloat and all I feel capable of is describing the water. This helpless feeling followed me a lot in my last job. It is part of what has kept me away from continuing to practice. Those problems seemed too big or too many for me. I have commited this student to prayer and have chosen to believe that there is hope in her situation. However, I recognize that I don't see it. I want the Lord to show me what He does in her life and how He uses these kinds of prayers. Does He strengthen them? Does He take away some of her burdens? I have to believe that He does because I am His handicapped helper--what could I do, afterall? Parts of me feel so hopeless for the those who are in chronic distress. Life seems too hard for them. However, if anything, the Lord has taught me the merit of hope and that it is always there for those who choose to believe His Word. I am choosing and I am waiting.

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