a moment of sadness

This weekend we were in Newellton because Sara, David's sister, was in town. We had a good and laid-back weekend with her, Esther, Jim, James, George (family friend), and Mrs. Hogue. A couple of times that day the topic of ailing spouses and parents came up. There were a few friends of the family, who I did not know, that were caring for a parent or spouse with altzeimer's. Just talking about their predicament made David and me both sad. Then, we had the pleasure to meet Esther's in-laws who were in town from Brazil. They were utterly delightful. They were visiting on their way to be with Mr. Davis's mother who is also dealing with altzeimer's. I couldn't get out of my head how awful it has to be to watch your parent slowly (or quickly) lose their memories, functions, parts of their personality. Today, on our way to Jackson, we stopped at Mr. Hogue's grave site. David was feeling sad and cried a bit. I felt so sad for him and then I just felt sad. I asked David if it got any better since last April and he said it was a lot better. I kept thinking about how I didn't feel strong enough to watch my parents or anyone I love get sick and pass away. Just thinking about it I would feel weepy and sad. I asked David if he was ever afraid of his parents dying and he said that he didn't think about it that much because it was sad when he did but he wouldn't describe it as fear. I have always feared these things as long as I can remember. I would feel so upset when my parents were ever in the hospital for anything or sick. Does anyone else have these kinds of thoughts or feelings? Maybe it is just a fact of life for an only child.

I don't want anyone to worry as they read this. I am not in a pit of despair. In fact, the feelings of sadness have passed but I just wanted to report it so I could get some feedback.