moving

As I pack up our stuff I think back on when we first moved into this apartment of ours. I remember David and I (engaged to be married in a month) painted the rooms. Overwhelmed (a feeling that grew to be quite familiar in the months to come), I sat on our stairs, lost in thoughts (more like fears) about what the future would bring. Would we be happy? Would I be a godly wife? Would David be what he promises to be? Will I be good enough? Will David love me? Will I love David? Will we make it financially? Will one of us die young? Will one of us have an affair? Will one of our children die young? Will we even be able to have children? There were no guarantees, no assurances. No amount of time would have helped those feelings of fear and mistrust subside. I just had to make the leap of faith that is marriage. And I did. (It was a good decision, in case you were wondering). We are moving into a new house and a new chapter. We will, once again, paint our walls. I fear those same overwhelming emotions that took over over two years ago will resurface. I keep telling myself that this is different. It's the truth. I am married and quite comfortable with my groom. Moving into a house is far less scary than marrying a man I knew for 8 months. Anyway, I just thought I would let people know where I am emotionally on this move. I am very ready to have the space of our new home. We both love the house and got a nicer house than we thought we could. But with all the positive, I have a remnant of hesitation (as I have with any decision of magnitude).

Definitely more exciting than scary, though. By the way, anyone want to make some money painting our walls? Seriously, let me know.