puppy love

The new addition to our family is chocolate lab appropriately named Cora Godiva Hogue. When we brought her home she was 5 wks old and a precious lil' thing. She pulled at all my motherly heartstrings. She pulled at David's first, who didn't originally want a big dog. But when she came out from under his parents' house and walked right up to him as if they were old friends, David fell in love right there. And well...anyone who knows me knows that I was an easy sell. We took her home and had a taste of babyhood. She kept us up, tired us out, and yet we couldn't help but love her. I was surprised to learn how much of a softy I became and how much David became the primary disciplinarian. Have I become a pushover? Perhaps. Another revealing facet of myself that was uncovered-or at least made more clear-is that the burden of being responsible for caring for someone or something is overwhelming for me. I think that is why marriage scared me so much--it is a big deal. I know enough of how fallen and selfish I am that I could potentially destroy even the best of relationships. I got over it with marriage, especially as time went by and David and I worked through our conflict and remained close. I got over it with Cora after I realized that she would eventually not wake up 3x/night and need constant attention (as an aside, I don't do well without sleep!). I assume I will eventually be ok with babies too, but that I will have an initial response of burden, fear, and helplessness. My friend, Rachael, tells me that she felt that with her two children too, but that the love you feel far outweighs the overwhelming sense of responsibility. I assume that all mothers and fathers feel it to some degree. It is such a discipline to surrender these fears to the Lord whose promised to care for us. He's promised to care for the generations of those who love Him. We can't protect our loved ones from everything. We are without this power but we are united with One who does. Praise the Lord.