driving through

Places I wish had a drive-through and should thoroughly consider it for mamas who have kids in car seats:

1)  the post office
2)  restaurants other than fast food, like newks or mcallisters
3)  shops that do car inspection stickers
4)  grocery stores (just for staples that are a rarely on sale anyway)

wouldn't that be grand?

my funny valentine

It is our 6th valentine's day and I just wanted to share a few quirky things about my husband, david, that make me laugh to myself (and roll my eyes occasionally).

1.  He takes a good couple of hours to really wake up in the morning.  Weekend mornings I'm raring to go (because I'm so much more motivated to be productive when he is around) and I can't get much out of him in terms of complete and clear sentences.  His desire is to sit quietly with his coffee and perhaps a book until he is ready to really face the world.  It is pretty funny to see this same quality in our son (but manifests itself in lots of fussing and rubbing of the eyes).  So, I'm learning not to try and engage my valentine in any deep discussions or planning during these early morning hours.

2.  He reads about 4 to 6 books at once.  I've been known to occasionally have a few books that I'm reading but he takes that to a whole new level.  Usually, they consist of different genres.  He'll have a fun science fiction book, a theology book, a latin and/or rome related book, a bible study, and possibly an informational how-to type book.  He never lacks for reading material and will take any opportunity to read.  Especially true since he got a kindle e-book reader for Christmas.  Books are david's crack.

3.  He has a new found fascination with the early church and the church calendar.  He has read tons of stuff on the subject and has taken last year to celebrate church calendar days.  He found a reformed episcopalian church to attend on such days.  I've gone along for the ride while making wisecracks about my husband becoming catholic and leaving the presbyterian denomination.  He assures me this isn't so but he does love the liturgy of these services.  When I'm not making fun, I'm appreciating that he has learned not to throw the baby out with the bath water as lots of protestants tend to.  He has a great understanding of why the early church did what it did to celebrate/praise/worship Christ.  Whereas, I (and many others) can throw away a lot of what other more liturgical churches do (including catholicism) because of some basic differences in theology and faith.

4.  David's mind wanders--absent-minded professor is a stereotype that really fits sometimes.  Here is how I usually see this.  We are in the car and I make an observation about something that most people would respond to.  David is not most people.  After a minute or so of silence, I, again, remind him that a reply was expected.  He is jogged back to real time where he, again, apologizes because his mind wandered (much like Walter Mitty) and explains where his train of thought took a detour.  Frustrating for a girl who loves a good conversation but also interesting that someones mind works so differently.  I hope to understand that precious mind more and more as the years go by. 

5.  David's passions are quite simple.  This makes him extremely easy to please and quite predictable.  A nice glass of wine or bottle of beer.  A hearty meal.  A good movie or book.  Marital benefits (*wink, wink).  His loves can get even simpler than that.  He enjoys children's literature and cartoons and winnie the pooh.  It is no wonder that occasionally I feel like I married a small boy rather than the 30 year old that he is.  However, I'm also aware that many men operate that way.   Can't say that I wouldn't mind being surprised by something David says or does but I can say that this predictability and consistency is one of the reasons I married him.  He is a safe and dependable friend.

6.  When I am usually surprised are those times when david is uncommonly funny.  He sometimes makes cracks or jokes that strike me as hilarious.  I never know when it is going to spring up.  I have noticed that when he is with his twin lakes buddies he is funnier than usual.  Also, he is funnier during the summer when he isn't distracted with work and class.  I love hanging out with him when he is really relaxed.  He can be very clever.  Part of the charm of his humor perhaps is that it is unexpected.  He isn't the guy that is always trying to be funny so he has the element of surprise.  Who expects an absent-minded, quiet and serious man to spring a joke on you?  It works. 

So, here are 6 funny things about my funny Valentine for the 6 years we've known each other.  I hope to know him more and more.  I hope to respect and love him more and more.  I'm thankful to our Lord for bringing us together.  No one knows more than our Lord how those idiosyncrasies were well-suited for my own (and there are many--and they aren't always so funny).  Happy Valentine's Day, Beloved.  Here is to knowing each other more with every year!

Hallelujah!

There has been quite a fad of late where seemingly random people in a public place break into song and/or dance in a well rehearsed way.  It, of course, is rigged.  These folks have practiced and assign a time and place and the fun begins.  David and I watched several of these, like the one done at Ole Miss a few years ago.  There was another one we took a moment to watch about a week ago.  I'm tickled by this idea.  I would love to be in that audience--it really would make my day to see this happen.  Or even to orchestrate one. 

We watched this one that took place in the foodcourt of a shopping mall.  As far as I know it was a thousand miles away.  This group began (one person at a time) to sing Handel's Messiah.  At first, we were both tickled by what we saw, as usual.  I'm not sure if it was the thoughts of my sweet father-in-law now passed who loved this song, or if it was that I was seeing the Lord being praised in such a public place but I began to feel moved.  By the last couple of minutes, I was weeping.  I turned to David and he also was full of emotion.  This fun idea turned into a beautiful moment of worship that was joy-filled and somber all at once.  So, I'm pleased to share this with you.

Please note that this is a different video than the one performed at Macy's.  Just in case you already saw that one.

I haven't been that interested in blogging lately.  No reason why, just wanted to get my hands dirty doing other projects, I guess.  I have learned how to knit and have been practicing nightly in front of the t.v.  I love having something to do with my hands and it is so relaxing.  I have a few sewing projects up my sleeve as well.  Can you use the same pattern for different size clothing?  Anyway, I'll figure it out.  David and I are also looking to tile our kitchen backsplash in the most affordable, yet good-looking way possible.  We want to try it ourselves but are a little afraid of how it might turn out.  We get more motivated when we learn that we are saving up to 500 dollars just to install.  That is not counting the cost of the actual tile and other materials.   Ick.  We also have some electrical work that needs to get finished.  Awhile back I installed undercabinet lighting but have not finished the wiring.  Why?  Well, I nearly electrocuted myself when I spliced some wires (according to the directions) and plugged it in.  So, I'm a little trigger shy now.  I suppose all these projects are motivating me now that I have some nesting hormones lurking in me.  We still need to fix the part of our roof that has been having drainage issues and has led to rodents taking up residence in our attic (again!)   As you can see, lots of projects.  There are more that I haven't even listed.  I'm excited to see them get done, one by one. 

Another project I've started is a Christmas scrapbook.  I wanted to compile (in a cutesy, scrapbook-y fashion) an album of all our christmas cards and letters.  I'm working on 2007 presently. 

One of my classes didn't make this semester so I'm just teaching on mondays.  David's class through UF appears to be easier/less time-consuming than usual with no papers or tests just weekly homework that seems less hard.  I'm not sure if the work is easier or if david is just getting faster and better at translating his latin texts.  He is still excited about what he is learning, though. 

David Jr. is adorable.  He is my destructive little boy who wants to grab, throw down, climb anything that is around.  Mama has to be quick to get him off our desks, and out of the dog food container.  He probably needs more outside time but I am too too cold to step one toe out.  So, we've been rather cooped up and yes, it is self-inflicted.  I don't like the bitter cold of jan. and feb.  

Well, it is time for me to take my freshly napped, and lunched toddler to the grocery store with me.  I only have so much time before he starts to fall apart.  So, I'll venture out into the cold only because we have to eat.  Maybe I'll write more later.

the grumpy old lady is dying

The faithful Lord is showing me some things about my family and myself.  I am so thankful to be shown for I can't work to change what is still in darkness.  That's why secret sins remain just that--secret sins.  They never get put to death.  What is also particularly funny (but in a weird way and not in a "ha ha" way) is that I probably would not have been aware of this issue if I had not dealt with anxiety.  My anxiety has me seeking good and positive in all the things I do, see, and hear.  I am especially sensitive to negativity now.  I also find that I am surrounded by friends and in-laws who are quite gracious and positive which makes it easier.  However, sometimes I find myself with someone (we all know folks like this--in fact, I might be that person that you know) who does nothing but complain.  Or who has nothing good or positive to report.  Or who seem to even take joy in the struggles that others find themselves in.  I never ever noticed it before but I surely notice it now.  People I have known my whole life strike me now as very negative.  It is quite burdensome.  I have to tell myself--things are probably not as bad as they are stating.  Speaking as a recovering pessimist (i used to call myself a realist--what a laugh!)  it is very easy to focus on all the bad things or hassles that happen in a day.  Oh, and what food for my negativity when there really was bad news.  That kind of news just fit into my worldview that said "Life stinks--just deal!"  However, it is very difficult to be negative or to complain when there is a thankful heart.  And that is my weapon.  I hold to the Spirit who has promised to complete the good work in me and bear the fruit of joy in my heart.  I take hold of the promise that there is life and hope in Christ, even in a world where coexists pain, struggle and death.  These words of my Lord are life.   Complaining and thankfulness rarely happen together.  And a gentle reminder to those who find themselves being "realists" --just as there is always something to complain about, there is always something to be thankful for.  Which would you rather focus on?

Another reason I am convicted about this is because I see that as you get older the reasons to complain get longer.  Afterall, you body will eventually die out.  It betrays you sooner or later, slowly or fast.  If I don't work on the habit of thankfulness now, then when I am old, no one will want to be around me.  I don't want to be that grumpy old lady that people avoid.  I want to be cheerful, gracious and godly.  I look to my mother-in-law as a great example of this.  She is gracious and never complains.  Mrs. Hogue is the anti-thesis of the grumpy old lady I mentioned earlier.  I'm thankful for such an example.

Fortunately, pessimism is learned.  Therefore, I plan to unlearn it.  In its place, I hope to learn thankfulness.  Not a superficial thankfulness--y'know, not just lipservice.  But a true outspringing contentment and joy from my heart.  Habits can be broken and new habits can replace them.  Isn't that reason enough for joy and thankfulness?  We aren't stuck!  We aren't doomed!  We can resolve (with the Lord's transforming grace) to change!  Yes!

latest project

A few saturdays ago was the annual La Leche League picnic.  I was placed in charge of food and fliers.  In the past, an event like this with me in charge of something would be stressful.  I would feel nervous about what everyone would think about the event and whether people thought I did a good job.  And really--I didn't want people to think I did a good job.  I wanted people to think I did the best job EVER!  Well, I probably don't need to say, that with those kinds of hopes, the pressure is turned up.  A few years ago, I realized that when we had anyone over, or a party or anything I would feel stress and pressure which would lead to irritability.  I  didn't think this was the way it was supposed to be.  So, some soul-searching unveiled that this pattern of emotions involved with entertaining was actually learned.  So, how am I un-learning it?  I've begun to draw the line between entertaining and hospitality.  My sweet friend and one-time mentor, Mrs. Jeannette Olps, explained that entertaining centers around making things look hard and hospitality doesn't need that.  Hospitality was serving others and not on making a beautifully themed dinner party.  Not that I ever succeeded in that.  What would usually happen is amongst all the ideas that overwhelmed me I ended up going for manageable.  Originally, I wanted people to marvel at my work on the food and how clean and beautiful my house was, etc.  Now, I just want a good time with friends.  I've had lots of great examples to look to in hospitality over the years.  The Frey family that "adopted" me while away at college would have me over all the time after Sunday church.  They fixed a delicious but simple meal but it was so easy.  No red carpet was rolled out, and no one seemed to stress over there being enough food for us.  So relaxed and so nice.  I've been to friends' houses where kids toys were everywhere--and kids for that matter.  Food was presented casually but the conversation was rich!  So, as I have had people over, I would remind myself often that the point is not to impress but to be hospitable.  The point is enjoying time together and not "making it look hard".  I love it when people make it look easy.  A simple soup.  A chili.  Sandwiches.  It is enough to make me feel welcome.

the danger of TLC's 'Sister Wives'

The Learning Channel (a.k.a. TLC) is known for doing some great shows that educate the general public about life for a certain sector, group, or family dealing with unusual circumstances.  Long ago (or so it feels like) I watched a (what I thought) normal family handle sextuplets and twins.  I watch the Duggars with their 19 children and have watched lots of little people.  Lately, TLC decided to do a small series on a polygamist family.  From the beginning I had mixed feelings about this.   I find myself curious and knew that I would see what this show was about.  At the same time, I had an icky feeling about their being a show that could draw an empathetic, normalizing light to this very wrong way of life.  I mean, these are not the FLDS (or is it FDLS?) that have the long dresses, long hair and secretive & dark lives under the dictatorship of Jeff Warrens.  This is a likeable group.  They dress normal.  They blend in.  Watching this, I know that people will start to look at their situation of one man with his three wives (while marrying a fourth) as freaky but normal.  I found even myself feeling more accepting (thankfully, I was guarding my heart but I see the tendency--that is how powerful t.v. is).  Don't get me wrong.  I'm not about getting pitchforks and running them out of town.  I want to love them like I would hope to love any neighbor.  But that doesn't change the fact that polygamy is unnatural (despite what polygamists might say) and unfair to the wives of this one man.  The wives of the show are quite frank about jealousy issues (which is refreshing) but they are also quite adamant about the advantages of plural marriage:  more time to themselves, more help with the children, refining of their character, etc.  One of the women liked it because it meant that she could work outside the home with a full-time job because one of the other "sister wives" was taking care of the children (their are 13 or so total, I think).  That was new to hear.  It was this modern take on polygamy that I had not seen.  Women's rights to work but not to have one man's heart, soul, and body in totality?  Very strange.  And icky.

there is some guilt

I have read enough pregnancy literature to know that these feelings are normal.  Still, I can't shake some sense of guilt that I'm replacing my firstborn or that he is going to get lost in the shuffle.  Some of my fear and guilt about this might spring from the fact that I never experienced that kind of upheaval.  I'm an only child, y'know.  I don't have the experience of the adjustment and having a sibling.  I am in brand new territory.  My parents are even in brand new territory.  They know what it is like to be in a large family but they do not know what its like to raise two kids under two.  So, I'm just trusting that though there may be an adjustment period for David Jr. (and for us, for goodness sake) but that the dust will settle and David will no longer remember life before his little brother or sister existed.  But for David and I this past year and a half have been (albeit tough) a humungous blessing.  We will cherish forever the memories of "just the three of us".  It does not escape me that it is a sweet time that we won't have back.  So, I guess it is natural that I feel a little sad to see it go.  I keep in mind that the joy I have had (unimaginable!) with my son, I will get to experience again with another blessing from the Lord.  And that is a reason to celebrate!!!  Break out the Saltines!!!

forgot the eggs

Pregnancy brain is back.  I made pancakes this morning and completely forgot to add the eggs.  I cooked them and they didn't seem that different from egg-ful pancakes.  I ate half of my plate before I realized it.  Maybe I'll start making it without eggs from now on since it will save me money.

what I never want to see in a house (esp. mine)

1.  Brass fixtures.  Yes, these abhorent things from the 80's and 90's are in my house but only because I could not yet prioritize purchasing their replacement.  The shiny brassy knobs, door knobs, and lighting fixtures glare at me saying "I'm ugly and outdated."

2.  Any sort of lamp/table furniture.  You know the kind I mean?  It looks like someone decided why bother with two pieces of furniture like a table with a separate lamp on it when you can have two of them together.  Ick.  I can not look at one without thinking of...well, I digress.  :)

3.  Lots of tiny knick knacks on display.  Those never look good.  It is the big statement pieces that can pull a room together.  It is never the $5 angel or the $9 fake plant.

4.  A flat screen above the fireplace.  I can't fathom making the t.v. the center or focus of my living room.  And to me, above the fireplace is almost like a throne or place of honor.  T.V.'s don't go there, in my opinion.  But now, new houses are even being built and wired for that very feature of t.v.'s above the fireplace.

5.  Too much furniture in a small space.  Which, by the way, we have happening in our living room.  Our furniture is not on a small enough scale and we are space-challenged.  Yet, somehow we ended up with two bedrooms that are hardly used.  But that is a conversation for another time.

6.  Fat chefs or country ducks. 

7.  Fuzzy toilet seat covers.  or any toilet seat cover.

8.  Too much symmetry will drive me bonkers.  It is safe.  It isn't interesting and sometimes doesn't offer the feeling of ease and comfort that one might want. 

Just sayin'....  Have a great week everyone!