rose-colored glasses

Some of you may dispute what I am about to write by stating that I have rose-colored glasses on. Maybe so. It doesn't matter. In the words of Jack Black from the movie "Shallow Hal" (paraphrased): if i think i am dating a hot chick and you don't see it, why should i care? I still see a hot chick.

I believe that Bono, the lead singer of the world-famous band U2, looks like my beloved David. And happy am I since I have had a crush on Bono for years. I admit that when I first met David I didn't see Bono. It was after some time of dating that I could see similar characteristics. Here are some pictures of Bono and you can decide for yourself. I see similarities in the nose, shape of the head, teeth, crinkly wrinkles around the eyes, mouth.

If I gave David some "bono-shades" and maybe a cowboy hat you would see what I mean.

a letter to a loved one

Dear Tony,
You are gone. You left your body this morning. All that is left of you is the shell of a body that was too weak for this world. It will return to the dust from which it came, but not you. You are in a place where you can run and not grow weary. You can't be tired, sick, or sorrowful where you are. I laughed when I thought of you in your new home mountain hiking, and playing hockey, and having way more life than you've ever had, even on your best days here on earth. The tears of sadness have become tears of joy for you. You walk with Jesus. You can see Him, touch Him, talk to Him. Your time of suffering has past. I'll miss you here. I look forward to laughing and eating with you on that great day. We'll rejoice and worship our Savior together. I'm thankful, so thankful, that you are home. I love you.
Guitta

Ten thousand times ten thousand in sparkling raiment bright
the armies of a thousand saints throng up the steeps of light
Tis' finished, all is finished, their fight with death and sin
Fling open wide the golden gates and let the victors in.

What rush of alleluias fill all the earth and sky
what ringing of a thousand harps bespeaks the triumph nigh
O day for which creation, and all its tribes were made
O joy for all its former woes a thousand-fold repaid.

O then what raptured greetings on Canaan's happy shore.
What knitting severed friendships up, where partings are no more
Eyes of joy shall sparkle, that brimmed of tears of late.
Orphans no longer fatherless, nor widows desolate.

Bring near they great salvation, Thou Lamb for sinners slain
Fill up the roll of thine elect and take thy power and reign
Appear Desire of nations, thine exiles long for home
Fill up the heav'ns with thy promised sign;
Thou Prince and Savior come.

they grow so fast...

well, I've finally downloaded into my computer some recent and not- so- recent (too cute to leave out) pics of our little girl-pup, Cora. Here they are. I feel sad that I can't pick her up anymore (heavy and a bit awkward to tell the truth).

I fixed the link to the elizabeth's world race blog for those of you who tried but failed to get onto her website. sorry about that.

autumn, pumpkins, hot drinks, crisp air

It's only September, I know. In Mississippi, that means that we have a good month of heat before I will even think about dragging my sweaters out from under the bed. But the cool front this weekend stirred my blood. I didn't want to waste it so I convinced David to go to the reservoir with me and we took Cora along for her first visit. It turned out fun for her and for us as we watched her. She loved the open spaces and she was delighted to make new friends with EVERY stranger we came across. So much for hopes of having a guard dog. However, the fun soon turned ugly as Cora and her wet self decided to jump on innocent passersby. We were constantly taking turns to get her and apologize profusely to those with paw prints stamped on their pants. Because of said incidents we did not read much of any of the books we brought. It didn't matter though, I still loved it. These are the days when things just feel right. I felt a strong urge to go to Wal-mart to buy school supplies, decorate the house in fall leaves, and drink a pumpkin spice drink from Starbucks. I'll save that for October and November, however. This is the beginning of the anticipation of the holidays. I love this season. I hope to enjoy it to the max--go camping, long strolls through our neighborhood, maybe even go to the state fair, or a football game.

As soon as I can, I will post pictures of sweet and devious Cora. We got her when she was 3 lbs and now she is a whopping 36lbs!!

bittersweetness

Life goes on as usual in the Hogue household. Cora leaves destruction and laughs (and sometimes groans) in her wake. She found cork board that I had lying around and the next time I went upstairs bits of cork covered our floors. What's sad was that we were both so busy that we left it there for a couple of days- we just stepped over it. I'm teaching 5 extra classes lately to cover for a faculty member whose been out because of health issues. But as life carries on for us in the normal way our hearts go out to my cousin Tony and his family as they deal with some of the best and worst things life can hand you. He is on hospice care after almost two years of battling an aggressive and rare cancer of the kidney (which has spread to several areas, including the lungs). Those of you who don't know him--I wish you did. He is a fun loving guy, with a safe and corny sense of humor. He's never afraid of making fun of himself. But at the same time he has heart. He listens to people with interest and care. People feel loved around him. He is also very sensible and resourceful. He'll do the craziest things but at the same time he has pragmatic way that tells you his craziest risk is calculated. He's a great mind with a great heart. He is the guy that plays a fierce game of rollerhockey, that will quit his job to travel in a van (BETSY!!!!) to see the last frontier, that will buy a homeless man a sleeping bag b/c it is getting cold outside, he'll write letters to our government to help open eyes about injustices going on around the world. I've never met anyone like him. I admire him for so many things. As he suffers, he speaks of the blessings he has been given. He is thankful for time (he got way more than anyone thought-Praise God), for his wife who has been faithful, persevering, caring, and wonderful, and his kids who are the apple of his eye. He has been given a beautiful family, caring friends and coworkers. Had he not suffered from cancer, I don't think he would have known how much people loved him (its sad that it takes disaster to see how much a person is valued).

As he suffers, I wonder where his heart is. I wonder how the Lord is making Himself present to him. I wonder what I could say, if anything, that could add comfort. What do you say to someone who has experienced something that you haven't yet? There is something in me that wants to go on and on to him about how wonderful and beautiful life will be when he is reunited with Jesus, his Savior (yes, he is a believer) but is that what someone wants to hear? needs to hear? Does he need to know that his kids will be taken care of and loved? Do I tell him that I am praying for them? Do I give him space? All I really feel safe to do at this point is pray and love on him from afar. I think doing anything else might be intrusive or exhausting for him. I wish I just knew, like I know how to walk, how to make it better, easier, smoother for him as he walks this road. Words seem like never enough. I want hug him and just sit there with him. Listen to him. Serve him.

I have my own emotions that I am wading through. I wonder why the Lord is doing it. And though I have theories, I am sure that what the Lord is planning is a far more superior work in progress--a far more complex plan than I can imagine...yet I hate it. I hate seeing so many people, not just Tony, hurt. I've talked often with the Lord about it. I don't understand it, and I worry a lot about how Tony's illness and possible death would affect my family. I know the Lord to be a loving Father who watches over his children with tenderness and gentility. I want my family to know Him this way too. A big fear that I sit with is that this cancer that plagued such a great person (that is highly regarded member of our family) will harden people's hearts against the Lord who loves them dearly. I can't instill in them the kind of faith I wish they had. All I can do is pray that this will draw them closer to Him, that they can be comforted by Him. Ultimately I can trust that the Lord knows what he is doing. "Trust the Lord and lean not on your own understanding...."

All of this has caused me to meditate on suffering a great deal...but that is another blog. May the Lord be blessing you through whatever trials you are enduring.

sweet summer

I'm not sure I am looking forward to this season ending. David is starting back at Prep soon and I will be following suit. I am loathe to think about any adjustments to having him gone most of the day again. I had SO much fun with him these past few months. It really is such a wonderful thing to be married to your bestfriend. We've accomplished most of what we hoped to this summer (the fun stuff and the stuff that just needed to get done i.e. car tags). It was relaxing and when we got our puppy it was just exciting (and tiring). I am so thankful that the Lord has given us a quiet season after a couple of years of just plain craziness, if you know what I mean;).

Despite how much I will miss my beloved, it will be good for me to have my own schedule. I get more housework done when he's not around. Not to mention, I will see more friends. I have become a friend hermit with the exception of my prayer group. So, you may be getting a call from me in the near future, friends out there.

This summertime experience has made me want him to continue teaching so that we'll always have the summer! David and I both like the slow and simple pace of life. It's so appealing (although David will admit it is difficult to not have a schedule when he's off).

Well, my thoughts are all over today. I hope you've made sense of it. Just think of it as a field trip through my mind.

So, here's looking to another year of school, marriage and whatever else the Lord puts in our path.

a truly amazing race

One of my bestfriends, Elizabeth Scaife (pictured above), left at the beginning of the summer to become a part of a ministry called the World Race. It functions much like the show on primetime called the "Amazing Race" but instead of beating each other to a goal destination they spend 4-6 weeks in each country ministering to the people there. Right now, her team is in Swaziland, South Africa. They will continue on to so many exotic and yet hurting regions. She has always had a heart for missions and, appropriately, a talent for foreign languages. Prior to this adventure, she spent more than a year in New Orleans organizing teams to help bring native folks get back on their feet after Katrina. I love this girl. We've been apart of each others lives since elementary school. She is gone for a year and she is the second friend that is leaving this summer for long term missions. (The others are the Slawsons and can be seen on their link at the top right called 'Siberian Grits'). I admire their calling but am sad that they aren't close to home for awhile. I am going to add Elizabeth's new website for the world race.

Elizabeth, if you are reading this: I pray for you often! Love you!

cora's first bath

This poor thing hates taking baths. She whined her little heart out as we bathed her and David thought it was SO funny that he wanted to remember it with pictures. After her bath, the ONLY way she would be comforted was wrapped in a towel and held like a baby. She continued to whine (which sounded so much like a human cry--it was hilarious. Enjoy the pics!

PS. Can you tell we are proud parents? We've taken SO many pictures of her. We're smitten. Thanks for humoring me.

PSS. I wrote this when she was about 3lbs...now she is almost 20lbs. :)

puppy love

The new addition to our family is chocolate lab appropriately named Cora Godiva Hogue. When we brought her home she was 5 wks old and a precious lil' thing. She pulled at all my motherly heartstrings. She pulled at David's first, who didn't originally want a big dog. But when she came out from under his parents' house and walked right up to him as if they were old friends, David fell in love right there. And well...anyone who knows me knows that I was an easy sell. We took her home and had a taste of babyhood. She kept us up, tired us out, and yet we couldn't help but love her. I was surprised to learn how much of a softy I became and how much David became the primary disciplinarian. Have I become a pushover? Perhaps. Another revealing facet of myself that was uncovered-or at least made more clear-is that the burden of being responsible for caring for someone or something is overwhelming for me. I think that is why marriage scared me so much--it is a big deal. I know enough of how fallen and selfish I am that I could potentially destroy even the best of relationships. I got over it with marriage, especially as time went by and David and I worked through our conflict and remained close. I got over it with Cora after I realized that she would eventually not wake up 3x/night and need constant attention (as an aside, I don't do well without sleep!). I assume I will eventually be ok with babies too, but that I will have an initial response of burden, fear, and helplessness. My friend, Rachael, tells me that she felt that with her two children too, but that the love you feel far outweighs the overwhelming sense of responsibility. I assume that all mothers and fathers feel it to some degree. It is such a discipline to surrender these fears to the Lord whose promised to care for us. He's promised to care for the generations of those who love Him. We can't protect our loved ones from everything. We are without this power but we are united with One who does. Praise the Lord.