Nothing happens as it was originally planned. I have learned this lesson a lot in the past week. However, it is not without thankfulness that I write it. I have seen the Lord's plan unfold and meet our needs--needs we didn't even know we had. We were to be induced on Tuesday but around midnight I started have contractions. I wasn't sure if they were contractions though because it was showing on the uterine monitor. After realizing that these pains were not going to let me sleep (the nights before I would have the same pain but then it would go away) I called the nurse. She moved the monitor down on my belly and then we could see the contractions registering. Soon after, the pains got worse and more frequent. and the worse and even more frequent.
At around 2 or 3, I allowed them to give me some pain killers through my iv. I still wasn't dilated enough for the epidural. Well, the pain killers were not helpful other than in making me so sleepy that I would immediately sleep between contractions. When the contractions did start I would moan and even scream. I did have a small part in me that felt bad that I might be instilling fear to the other pregnant mothers but the thought was fleeting as survival took hold. I just gripped the side of the bed. David, the champ that he is, hung with me. He would rub my lower back, remind me that it was almost over and encourage me. I yelled at him a couple of times because my patience was lost during the intense pain. He was calm and sweet. I had moments were I was just yelling about where the anesthesiologist was. I was angry when I heard him tell a nurse thank you for having the time to take a shower--who said that he had time to take shower? Not me!
Anyway, I got the epidural and the contractions quickly passed under my pain radar. Unfortunately, what took its place was a very strong urge to push. I wasn't allowed to push because I wasn't enough centimeters dilated. I was surprised to know that the epidural doesn't necessarily mean that the rest of my labor would be painless. Granted, it was a lot easier without the strong contractions. When the doctor got there around 9 something, she thought I was ready to go. They got things set up and I just kept thinking, "hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry".
Once I was told I could push I realized how painful it was...you know...down there. I was being stretched. As much as I was ready to see the end of labor, I was feeling so much pain from the pushing. Everyone was yelling at me to push and we did that about 4 times and the baby was out--and with the baby out came immediate relief of the pain.
There was no emergency care needed or resuscitation. They cleaned up his 5 lb. 2 oz. body and gave him to me. I talked to him and he looked at me and that was very cool. Once he went into NICU, I hadn't seen him the rest of the day. I spent the day recovering.
He is no longer in need of respiratory care. He is feeding through an IV but they have seen him eat through a bottle so his suck/swallow reflex is getting strong. He is on antibiotics for a possible bacterial infection. I got to hold him today for an extended amount of time and that was good for me. I feel more bonded and think he is such a cutie.
I am getting released from the hospital tomorrow. We aren't sure how long it will take for David Olson Hogue Jr to be released. He will be here as long as 10 days. That beats the possibility of a month. We truly have been blessed with the best possible circumstances in this situation. I need to write a whole other post about all the details the Lord saw to.
Thank you all for the voicemails, notes, visits, prayers and encouragement. We have been so humbled by the support and helpfulness we've experienced. We praise the Lord for you all.
A Case of Mommy Guilt
5 days ago